Dreams

Last night I had a series of bad dreams, nightmares actually, that kept creeping back in as soon as I thought I had them at bay. I opened my eyes and they were still there in front of me. I went to sleep late last night and as soon as my eyes closed the memories presented themselves in such a manner I had no defense to save me. What had caused these dreams of mine? Fear. Absolute fear. I would neither wish this on foe nor friend. I will start it off with the fact that I lost someone dear to me in the dream. They weren't dead, they were just gone as if in a mist. I was attending a college and in band with my old clarinet and band director that I was only around for a few short years. I had an old blue car and I knew I was late. This sets the scene. I was driving along a highly trafficked road that stood at a standstill and there appeared to be wrecks ahead. I could see the great building I needed to reach on a hilltop that appeared as giant as a castle of old days. In fact, it was an old building, older than I've been in. I had been on the road for days, searching for my missing loved one. No car or engine could be found. I'd thought I'd heard it a couple times, but it was all in my head. The sound he made when he went away. I parked the car on the side of the road, not caring what happened and made the trek up the long hill past the abandoned cars. When I reached the college, I went to the band room. Everything was in full swing, a friend S was signing blues in the front playing sorry guitar and a black man was playing a sax. L was sitting on a sofa with a tie dye bandana on his head, looking the same as when I had met him. After the song played out, we were released for lunch. I was dirty and in need of a toothbrush but no one seemed to care. Everyone was giving me knowing stares, and a few of the guys were openly gaping at me like I was the most beautiful thing they've ever seen. L2 attempted to talk to me and was blocking my way. M and M stopped me afterward to warn me that everyone knew what had happened. Other people were there like J and others I have kept their names private. There were offers of beds, and I knew what that meant. I just shrugged them off and grabbed a tray for lunch and sat alone to eat. I found the restroom and used the toothbrush from my purse and returned to the classroom. We were to make a decision in preparation for either Blues On The Bay or some other competition. The dream kept going on with others talking to me, offering me clothes, beds. Anything I wanted. But I only wanted the one I was searching for. My soulmate. Why these people appeared in this dream? I don't know. I woke with a sense of loss and felt like I had been crying in my sleep. On a positive note, I didn't accept any of these offers because had I, it would have turned from nightmare to Hell. If you are reading this, thank you and God bless.